januari 31, 2015
I See Black
I wish i could find the words to describe this pain, instead it leaves me overwhelmed and perfectly numb. They say time heals, however, every morning I wake up to the realisation that its not a nightmare.
How could things go this far? How can life change so drastically, and there is nothing to be done other to move forward. But how can move forward when the decision is being done for you, and you have absolutely nothing to say about it? its not even a choice you’ve done, but the facts remains the same. The pain remains the same, the nightmare continues and as well as life.
And although life continues, you feel stuck. There is only darkness in the tunnel, you put one foot infront of the other to escape the pain. But as soon as you stop, the pain is right there with you again. As if it had never left you from the beginning. And once, again, it leave you absolutely numb. You hear a voice wispear words of hope, that things will get better, the pain will go away but as soon as you get ready to take a deep breathe you start drowing in despair.
The days become nights, and your only comfort is to put your head on the pillow to get a little rest. Your tiered of the emotions and the demons in your head. But as soon as you wake up again, you realize that is another day and it won’t stop.