A lot can happen in a year, and from the look in the rear mirror – this past year has been very eventful. I don’t know what it is about birthdays that makes me treat them as New Years eve but I think its because I’ve had a special relationship to turning one older ever since I was a kid.
Turning older can be stressful for some, I used to be a member of that group. In a matter of fact I was a early member of that group. The day before my 15th birthday I had my first birthday anxiety attack, my life was over (hahaha, yes I was turning 15) since I already was halfway to thirty and hadn’t accomplished anything. While my mother was standing in the kitchen, preparing dinner for the family I was walking back and forth behind her while declaring that I hadn’t traveled (I was delusional because I’ve been traveling from a early age but didn’t consider our family trips as traveling), nor decided what path I wanted to take after college or what career path I wanted to pursuit. The thought of being halfway to thirty was eating me up.
As I was walking back and forth, my mom turned around from the stow and looked at me as the crazy person I was acting out as – she shook her head and tried to comfort me with her calm motherly voice that I had my whole life ahead of me. Being a total drama queen at that time (plus add some teenage hormones) I was shocked she couldn’t see it. So I did what I usually did, went in to my room, closed the door and listen to music.
Today we laugh at it, and every birthday my mother reminds me of my first (and worst) birthday anxiety – well that I always love when she tells the story about the night I was born (as if I didn’t know it by heart already haha).
The anxiety? The older I got the more the faded it away and by the time I turned thirty I couldn’t have cared more about that fact that I was thirty. But had I traveled? Had I finished school and pursued a honourable career?
Yes, I moved and got my own place in a city in southwest In Sweden to pursuit college and university. Not only did I get one degree but two, and in between those two degrees I squeezed in five year career in a bank before I got bored and need a new adventure. Thats when I moved to Los Angeles. But did any of that matter, no. The only thing I took pride in was that I had managed to travel – because for me thats most amazing thing money can buy. Did I feel older, not a bit (I think I’m still 25 some days) and the older I get the more I realise that age is nothing but a number.
So what made my thirty-first year special? Ah, so many things! Serials of events that changed me and shaped me. Because of those events, my outlook on life has changed to the better. But most importantly, I’ve truly come the full understand of a few things, and I mean really comprehend from the core of my soul.
- The only who’s responsible for your happiness is you
- Whenever shit (pardon my french) hits the fan, you can either let it make you or break you.
- People who aren’t meant to be a part of you life will find a way out from it, let them and don’t worry. If they want out they’re not worth your time.
- Traveling alone is underrated – do more of that!
- Life is always progressing to the better, trust that.
- You are being taken cared on
The last point is somewhat deeper, on a spiritual level meaning that whatever happens you will be okay. Because that is what life keeps on proving, it will be okay. Finally, I wanted to share a look from last year. As you can see, she looks different. Dressed differently and also carried herself differently, although you see me – you can tell that thats not the same person you see today. Or what do you think? How do you feel about aging and what is the best advice you would give your younger self? Tell me below.
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