Free-done!

There are some pieces of garments that have a special meaning, for the heart that is. It may not be the most amazing piece in the wardrobe, but overtime you think about you feel a certain way about it. If I think about it makes perfectly sense that a denim (which is probably my favourite fabric) and jacket (ehhmmm…. the piece that is my go-to tone-setter in my closet) would be that special garment.

I’ve always BLK DNM’s leather jacket with the Freedom logo in the back, so you can only how happy I was when their store sells person gave me patch while browsing through the store one day. It was almost a year ago, I was trilled to steam the path on my denim jacket – what made it even more exciting was my trip to New York three weeks from that day. While in New York I wore it one evening as the sun was setting over Manhattan with my friend José, he started filmin as I was walking which is the video on the blog and Instagram. We called it Freedom, and the video illustrates just that and also what freedom means to me.

As a child, I never dreamt of having a family. That was only the other girls said, I dreams of traveling the world around and discover new places. It was more likely of me to day dreaming being a pirate than playing house. The thought made me cringe, but that’s a story for another day. Haha! I will never forget the first time I was going to go through the safety check – a trip to London to my friend who was studding there. I was so excited for my first trip alone so my heart was running, a friend whom worked in the security saw me as I entered the area and he even commented on me looking nervous. I explained to him that I was very excited about the tripp and had butterflies because of all the excitement. Lets just say that my friend was very amused by my reaction. But that moment, although how funny it may seem is a very fundamental moment for me. It really sums up how I just feel about traveling – and that emotion has always shadowed every time I’ve time sat my foot on a air port.

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But its not only being able to travel the world that gives me a sense of freedom, that trip to New York was the first time i truly traveled alone and it was such a big thing for me prior to doing but going to NY felt so natural. Which is funny because its the one city I would never have thought of discovering alone. I wasn’t alone, I had my friend but there were times that I was alone and it was such a interesting process of feeling that I went through during those hours as I was roaming the streets of Manhattan. Being able to physically move is one thing, but the other side of the coin is to be free in its mind – which is as important. It can be simple things from questioning why I do wanna do something. Is it something I truly do want to do? Why? Or is it something I have been thought that I should like? I find it meaningful to actually reflect on why some things resonate with us and understand why it does so because I have learned with time that one can actually learns so much about themselves. Imagine this, being +30 and still learning new things about yourself! If you are anything like me, meaning enjoy learning new things about yourself. Not bad, right?

I know I said the whole children thing was another story but the dots are connected, as a wise man once said. Realising the fact that I don’t want children was a result of actually sitting down with myself and ask myself all those questions, plus being honest with myself. Now, I’m not saying I never want children. I just don’t see me have it – but stranger things has happen in life so we’ll see what the future holds. But that thought is so deliberating, the fact that I decide what I wanna do when I need to cross the bridge is amazing. Why wasn’t we thought this in school? Instead they expected us to know what we wanted to become at the age of 15? Come on you guys, I know we all thought the were grownups and future at that age but we all know thats not true. I had my first and worst panic attack at 15 because I hadn’t accomplished anything, i knew what I was suppose to do school, work, travel, get married and blah blah blah. But its not even logical to expect such from a kid. I change more for each year than I did between the age of 15 to 20, how am I suppose to know what I should do the rest of my life? Honestly, I still don’t know. All I know is that I want to do something that I enjoy – doesn’t matter if its money in it or not, just for the passion and joy it gives me.

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Yes, I am talking about this little platform that has enables be to actually start a journey. I have no idea were this journey leads but I sure hope envelop more me behind the photography because its such an amazing feeling to show other how you perceive this world. Only people whom I’ve shot with know what weird sounds of excitement i make when I get excited about taking a great shot.  But I love it and I will find ways of keep doing it and hopefully evolve even more. So if you were to ask me what I would like to become when I grow older – the answer is a photographer. So being able to to what you love, thats a sort of freedom as well. I think we all strive for freedom, yet we’re driven and motivated by different things which makes us to pursue different things – but whatever you do, I hope you enjoy the hell out of it.

 

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Photo: Anouk Yve, edited by me

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3 Comments
  • Natali
    Svara
    juli 1, 2016

    Once we decide to love ourselves, when we decide to be free and let loose of some old believes which we had and esp. when we realise that we don’t have to know always everything and that the magic of ”surprise” element is sometimes the best thing in life, that’s when everything goes and pans out just the best way possible for you. If you’re not enjoying in what you’re doing and who you are, then what’s the point in waking up every single day and doing exactly the same thing and mistakes all over again?! Great post Sara! Keep on inspiring. :)

    http://www.lartoffashion.com

    • juli 10, 2016

      I absolutely agree, with self love comes a lot of lessons and once we learn to de-learn the things we’ve been thought. Finding inner security has to be one of the most profound emotions because as you mentioned you allow yourself to flow freely without being overshadowed by fear. Glad you liked it so much, it makes me happy. Have a beautiful day. xx

  • juli 17, 2016

    Hahah you’re so right. As a teenager, you won’t exactly know what you would like to do/become when you get older. When I went to the university, I didn’t know what kind of job I can find afterwards. At that time I only thought, this is what I want to do, nobody can stop me (though my parents told me many many times that finding a job might be limited since my major is Asian studies), so I went for it. Now, fast forward 5 years, I still don’t know what I would like to do..but there’s one thing I’m pretty sure of and that’s getting rid of my current job haha (I guess this is also a positive thing right?) Anyway, I totally agree with you. You never know what the future holds. So in the meantime, enjoying the things you like to do is not a crime at all :) In fact, these things can lead you to develop yourself in certain ways :)

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