Love. The most beautiful feeling in the world. Is there anything more beautiful than to love and be loved in return? If there is, I’d like to know. There is nothing more rewarding to love a person and to feel that persons love.
The inspiration to writer this column came after a few conversations with different friend – all about the same topic of finding the right one. Some have gone through tons of heartbreaks whereas some found their parter at an early age. However, as the years pass by we seam to get more stressed about finding the right person. And if there one thing love shouldn’t be, then its stressed.
Over the years, friends have complained about how tiered they are about finding the right one, tiered of dating and to kiss another frog that does not turn into the prince she thought. This might sound like a cliche, and it may be one as well but only because its true – love comes when you aren’t looking for it, in the most un-inspected way and it can surprise you in ways you never thought it was possible. I am the living prof of it, Alex and mine story is like a movie and I can’t help but to smile when I think back on how everything began. But before we get started on this personal journey on mine I want to shed some insight on the few lessons that I’ve learned along the way.
I’ve had my fare share of dates, had my heart crushed a few times too and crushed some as well. However, there was a time where I just got tiered of looking which made decide that the next person I get involved with will be the real deal. Instead of focusing on who I wanted to meet, the focus was turned back to myself by designing who I wanted to be so I could attract the right one. Sounds cheesy, but don’t hate it until you’ve tried it. Things didn’t change over night, I went through a few rough patched and reached a point where I was happy with myself, my life and everything that included. Never could I have thought that one dream could change the direction on my life – but that was exactly what happened.
Alex and I dated 12 years ago and hadn’t seen each other ever since. We’ve ended our relationship on a good note and touched base every now and then. I was living in Los Angeles at the time, he in Stockholm when I had a dream of meeting up with him at a train station in Sweden. We were both so happy but I woke and wrote him immediately on Facebook to tell him about my dream. The conversation lead to a four month conversation till day we would meet again. The only time we paused our conversation was because one of us had to sleep – mind the 9 hour time difference.
One week into our conversation, Alex booked a ticked to LA to come and stay with me for a week. We counted the days, and as the days passed our emotions grew stronger. And since the only thing we could do was to talk, we got to know each other on a deep level. There was only one thing missing, which was to see each other.
The day of his arrival finally came, I had never been so nervous in my life and I will forever treasure the memory of when the stepped out in the arrival lounge. One week passed fast and it was the best week I had ever experience in my life. After he left Los Angeles, I knew that I didn’t want to ever say goodbye to him again so I decided to move back to Sweden and live with him.
At a early stage of our conversation, I pledged to leave fear outside our relationship. No overanalyzing, no being afraid of living out the love and joy that i felt in my heart, no fear based though what so ever. This is one of the best decisions I’ve ever taken, because if I hadn’t – I would not been where I am today.
From this experience, I’ve learned a few things that I want to share with you. Firstly, don’t worry about finding the right one. He’ll find you when the time is right, meanwhile try to focus on the best you can be and do all the things you want to achieve. Secondly, don’t allow fear to embark your feelings and thoughts. It will reward you on so many levels. Thirdly, when you finally meet him understand that no one if perfect (neither are you) and that every relationship has its challenges but what matters is whether you let these challenges make you break you.
That being said, I hope our story can empower other when they feel the absence of hope – and shed a little insight and inspiration. To finish this coloum, I leave you with this quote from Bob Marley:
“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.”